I survived the first trimester. Yes, survived. There were multiple days while I was dry heaving in the shower or while brushing my teeth, or napping for the fourth time on a Sunday that I thought I may not make it. And that I hoped Matt would find happiness again. But not too quickly. Oh and also take care of the dogs.
But, alas! I have survived. I am now doing a little victory lap! Do I feel better? Abbbbbbsolutely not. But I kept a fetus and myself alive for 14 weeks and by damn I am feeling pretty good about it.
We got to hear our baby’s heartbeat today. Which is very surreal. I try to hang on to those moments knowing in 6 months when she (she!) is here, the time will fly by and surely be a blur. It’s weird to know it’s a girl. She is growing. She has fingernails. She is doing this and that. It’s good to have that confirmation. Just to feel a tiny bit of relief. Those weeks between doctor’s appointments just go by so slowly. It’s good to know everything is okay in there. I mean the constant alternating of puking and ravenous hunger combined with suddenly having boobs was a pretty good indication. But it’s good to have some scientific evidence beyond the glorious side effects of pregnancy.
Everyone has been very excited and supportive of this pregnancy. Since it’s the first grandchild for my mom and dad, they can hardly stand it. My dad was offering up name suggestions by week 10. My mom was buying rompers and my Mawmaw bought little onesies and mittens. My step dad had already looked at little girl’s bikes and golf clubs – both very important for newborns to have. Several friends bought outfits and shoes. She already has her first Packers outfit (thanks aunt Molly!) The kid is 14 weeks old and she easily has 5 pairs of shoes. She even has her My First Christmas outfit!
I told myself I wasn’t going to do anything (decorate, buy clothes, etc. etc.) until I was in my second trimester because I was nervous. I was nervous about everything every single day. And while Matt went on shopping sprees like Target was going to suddenly run out of baby clothes, I held back. I didn’t buy the little swimsuit I saw with pineapples on it, or the UL shoes that were so tiny you can hardly handle it. But I feel a little safer now. Maybe safe enough to venture into a baby section. I mean, if she is coming in August, she definitely needs some sunglasses.