Vagina pains and Cheez-its.

My life used to be filled with drinking good beer or bourbon, watching sports, enjoying clothes and shoes, running, working, working on my house, etc. Now? It’s all about vagina pains and Cheez-its.

I cannot eat enough Cheez-its. I know those are gross and not natural and really not healthy, but seriously, it’s one of the only foods I want to eat. Stop judging me. And then there’s that vagina pain.

“Have you had that stabbing pain in your vagina yet,” my co-worker asked. (Side note: nothing is weird anymore.)

“Why yes, I have,” I replied.

I never in my wildest dreams imagined a conversation like this happening. Let alone bringing me comfort. But it happened. And I felt better after talking to her about my stabbing vagina pains.

Things are shimmying in my body. I am having what I like to call Toni Braxton-Hicks. They are pretty uncomfortable. But my body feels tight and miserable all the time. And there are some shooting pains in my crotch pretty regularly. Kind of like riding a bike for 10 years. None of this seems like something normal or what should be happening, but I kind of assume at this point (due to conversations with my OBGYN) that nothing is a reason for alarm unless there’s blood accompanying it. So, I am cramping and squeezing and stretching constantly and sitting with really awkward posture for some relief. And when someone randomly asked me if I had had those stabbing vagina pains, I thought, YES! I know what you are talking about! I have had those! And they must be normal! YAHOO!

And it wasn’t even weird.


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