I am not sure what it is about being pregnant that makes people want to share their every thought with you. People constantly tell me their horror stories about birth. It’s awful. I don’t need you to tell me about how much you bled, or how hard it was to breastfeed, or what labor feels like. I am good. I did the research. Your first-hand, horrifying account of your birth doesn’t help me to be less nervous. It makes it worse. Please stop.
But the thing people overshare about the most, I have found, is how hard it is to be a parent. Please excuse me, but … duh. I mean, obviously it’s hard. You have a tiny human that needs you for every little thing. They can’t do anything. And they never sleep. Obviously, it’s going to be hard. Really hard. I am not an idiot. I am aware of this.
But everyone talks about their kids like they are just awful. Like babies are little shitheads that are just the worst ever. I have heard so many versions of the following:
“Oh just wait, you will never sleep again.”
“Enjoy your husband while you can, because it’s never about you again.”
“Everything you own will be covered in poop and vomit.”
“Being a new mom is the hardest thing I have ever done.”
“Kids are so expensive.”
“Say goodbye to your social life.”
“Oh if you think you are tired now, just wait until she gets here.”
I mean really? Just stop. I having a baby. People do it all the time. And live to tell about it later. If it was so hard and so miserable, no one would have two kids. Everyone would be an only child. But that’s not the case. Babies can be terrible. And yes, they can be grumpy. But that’s why tiny humans are cute! So you want to keep taking care of them even though it is hard. But there’s obviously something incredibly rewarding about having kids. Or it wouldn’t be so common.
So please, just shut up. Let me enjoy things as they come. I know I will be tired. And covered in poop. And vomit. And I will have less time and certainly less spending money. But that’s what I signed up for. And it’s what you signed up for, too.